Have been feeling a bit low over the last few days... Mum is not well she seems to be getting more and more muddled and confused with life... and today is the anniversary of my Dads death. On this day, December 12th 1991, we lost a very much loved husband and Dad... so long ago yet it seems like only yesterday when Dad was taken from us so suddenly. Dad suffered from asthma and on this particular night he suffered quite a severe asthma attack. Dad had been ill with a chest infection and he had been given steroids earlier that day... sadly during the night regardless of the steroids things took a turn for the worst. Mum called me in a panic and I called for help. It was decided that Dad only needed to see a doctor on call out and by the time the doctor arrived Dad was struggling for breath. Mum was getting very upset as was I but we tried to put a brave face on things... The Doctor called an ambulance immediately and in hindsight and something I have always felt really guilty about is the fact that I should have insisted on an ambulance in the first place! If I had the outcome could have been so different! By the time the ambulance arrived and it seemed like forever... The Doctor kept looking out of the window waiting for the ambulance and checking my Dad... but he could do nothing to help his breathing... Mum and I busied our selves by gathering items required for an hospital stay...
When the ambulance finally arrived they carried my Dad out in a sort of stretcher chair... Dad could not talk he was just concentrating on trying to get what little air he could to his lungs... but I could see the worry in his eyes, Dad hated hospitals... the last thing I said to Dad was ' you will soon be feeling better Dad, and you will be home in time for Christmas' he gave me a knowing glance... The ambulance men got Dad into the ambulance and connected him to a nebuliser.... Dad looked so relieved... and then he died......
I miss him so much (Mum misses him deeply and I don't think she has ever gotten over his loss) .... this was the poem that we read out at his funeral, such beautiful words....
They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.
A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.
If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.
Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.
Author Unknown.....
When the ambulance finally arrived they carried my Dad out in a sort of stretcher chair... Dad could not talk he was just concentrating on trying to get what little air he could to his lungs... but I could see the worry in his eyes, Dad hated hospitals... the last thing I said to Dad was ' you will soon be feeling better Dad, and you will be home in time for Christmas' he gave me a knowing glance... The ambulance men got Dad into the ambulance and connected him to a nebuliser.... Dad looked so relieved... and then he died......
I miss him so much (Mum misses him deeply and I don't think she has ever gotten over his loss) .... this was the poem that we read out at his funeral, such beautiful words....
They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.
A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.
If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.
Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.
Author Unknown.....
